What I Am Learning From My Cancer

Today I got the results my 4th CT scan. I started down this road almost 3 years ago. November 17th 2006, I found out I had a tumor the size of a cantaloupe in my colon. Well it didn’t stay contained in the colon. It had attached itself to the abdominal wall, small intestine, another section of the large intestine and the bladder. December 4th, 2006 I had surgery to attempt to remove this beast. The surgeon was successful in removing the tumor along with a bladder resection and colon and small intestine resections. On December 7th, 2006 the pathology report showed that there was no cancer to be found in my system. Nothing in the margins, and 22 out of 22 lymph nodes completely clean. Since then, I had six months of intensive chemo. My oncologist termed that preventative. I have been since visiting my oncologist every three months. I was scheduled to do that for 5 years. I have been informed if my results come back like all previous results that I can be declared “cancer free” by the oncologist. That would be two years earlier than the best case scenario I was given in January 2007.

 

The results today showed a spot on my liver that has never been there before. They are not sure what it is. It could very well be nothing, or just a cyst. It could be a metastasis. So right now the course of action is to wait for a few months and retake a CT Scan. We will find that A) the spot is gone, B) the spot has not grown, or C) the spot is growing.  If the spot is there, or if it’s growing, surgery is in play.  Then we may have to look at treatment options again.

 

While yes, they found a spot ALL other labs, blood work and markers are “exceptional”. So what are we to make of this. Well, this journey has never been about me. This is not “Why me, why now.” Honestly why not me. It has always been about God and His glory.

 

Here are some lessons I am learning from having cancer. (The catalyst for this was something that John Piper wrote. I would encourage you to read it.)

 

  • I am learning that cancer is the best thing that has happened to me.
  • I am learning — and continue to learn — to rely on God for everything. Only God can continue to get me through this. We can only LIVESTRONG™ if we’re GODSTRONG™
  • I have begun the process of getting my affairs in order. No matter how long I live, it makes sense to know that my affairs are in — and remain — in order.
  • I am learning that dying is not a loss and that staying alive is not the ultimate goal.
  • I am learning that having cancer is a great way to develop deeper relationships with other people.
  • I am learning that this is a process and not a destination. Cancer will always be a part of me.
  • I am learning that sin is worse than cancer. Some of the things I have excused away as “just who I am” are sin.
    • I am an unkind jerk to many people including my wife and my kids. That needs to change.
    • I am quite arrogant. Having cancer has greatly humbled me, but I seek more humility.
  • I am learning that I don’t need to sweat the “small stuff”.
  • I am learning that it is better to influence others rather than simply inspiring them.
  • I am learning that I can be just like the Israelites of the Old Testament. I was given a miracle 3 years ago and the further away I get from that, I find I can forget the miracle.
  • I am learning that every day I wake and my feet touch the floor, it is a great day!
  • I am learning that God has a purpose for me, my wife and my boys with this journey that He’s placed us on. May we be faithful.
  • I have been given a platform to share what I believe and I am learning to use that.
  •  “What’s the next step?”

 

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Posted 2 months ago

Seth's Blog: The talking pad

Zig Ziglar taught me about the most powerful way to use a yellow legal pad. He calls it a "talking pad."

When you're in a small meeting (you and one or two other people) it's awkward to use a laptop or Powerpoint, because it destroys the intimacy of the discussion. Basically, it says, "I'm going to talk to the screen and you can watch, okay?"

The alternative is to use a thick pen or marker and a legal pad.

Whenever you mention a number or make an assertion or promise, write it down. The act of writing is a verb, it's the process of putting it on the page that underlines what you've said, that highlights the moment. You're also creating a record of what you said, which emphasizes that you're not a weasel.

Salespeople can use this technique as well. Let's say you're trying to sell energy-efficient windows. They cost $800 each, the person needs 30, so you're trying to make a $24,000 sale. That's a big deal, right?

Start by writing these facts down.

Then, working with the person you're sitting with, identify how much is going to be saved every day. Not your opinion, but their estimate based on their energy bill and comparable homes. Agree on a number. Write it down.

Cut it in half. Now it's truly a realistic, conservative estimate. Write it down.

Multiply it by the number of windows. Write it down. People hate math.

Now, pull out your calculator and figure out the cost of the monthly financing. Oh! The cost is way lower than the amount saved. The windows are free.

The talking pad makes the sale. It builds credibility and helps you run the meeting.

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Posted 3 months ago

God of this City

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Posted 3 months ago

What gets in the way of change?

What gets in the way of change?

Monday, August 17th, 2009 | Transformational Change | 0 Comments

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Greetings,  great ones.  Have you every wondered what really gets in the way of people changing and improving their own lives?  Most New Years resolutions end in failure; close to 90% of the goals we set fail by the end of the year.  What gets in the way our good intentions? Well an understanding of why most people resist change can help us all change. 

Over the years I have discovered 5 key barriers that keep us from making the progress we want to make. 

1.   Fear of the unknown and general uncertainty:

At times we allow ourselves to lock-up with fear and become paralyzed with uncertainty. Because change is happening so rapidly we fear the potential negative effects of what is going on around us. 

Fear and worrying about things we cannot control, will waste much of our energy.  We will never regret putting our energy where our biggest leverage points are in our life, and focusing on the things that we can control instead of those we cannot.

2.   No compelling reason to change:

Simply put without a clear compelling reason to change, improve, and grow most people will not change.  We tend to live within our comfort zones.  In an ever-changing world, living in the comfort zone can be a very dangerous place.

Creatively thinking or actively approaching new situations with fresh ideas and behaviors can help us build a core around learning, growing and changing.  Creating a clear inspiring reason to change makes all the difference.

3.   Lack of vision for  a better future:

Without vision we fail.  Clear, long-term goals can make a huge difference in our lives.  Over our lives we will create what we believe, and believe what we achieve, first in our minds then in our actions.  You have been given unique talents and abilities that will allow you to contribute to the world in a marvelous manner and leave a great legacy, regardless of your color, culture, and economic status in life.

Your vision or long-term goals should inspire you to do things differently every day, every week, every month and every year.

 4 .   We don’t know how to change:

The concept of making needed changes in our lives can be overwhelming.  Change is not easy.  It requires effort and focus.  Having a proven process can really help move things along.  Weight Watchers has a great process to help people lose weight and improve their health.  It is built around counting calories through a points system, making choices, and changing your thinking and behavior about food.   It breaks everything down for you and has proven to work for millions.

Friends, mentors, coaches and teachers are great sources of information to help you pick a clear process to change, no matter what change you want to make…their successful personal experiences, how they changed,  can help you change and in turn when you change, you can help others change. 

5.   No accountability to change:

With out someone you love and trust to hold you accountable to a new and better future, the likelihood of change springing up all on its own is low.  Once we have laid bad habit tracks they are so easy to return to, unless we have some sort of intervention. 

The key here is that “its all about the love”.  The accountability that is needed is one of encouragement and support. Connect with people in your life that lift you and love you.  We all need more friends that believe in us.

Never underestimate the power we have to change ourselves as we get rid of fear, create meaning, establish a clear vision, work with a proven process, and surround ourselves with people who love us and support our desire to learn, grow and change for the good.

How have you enabled change in your life? How did you remove the mental roadblocks that stood in the way of change? What has helped you?

I would love to hear from you.

Next Post: 7 key rules for change.

Author: Sam Bracken, Global Director of Product Management Marketing, FranklinCovey

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Posted 3 months ago

Brad Lomenick Talks Developing Credibility

Young and Hungry- What to do?

I talk to leaders all the time, especially those under the age of 25, who are seeking the quick credibility answer. How do I get credibility now and not have to wait until I am in my mid 30’s or early 40’s before people will respect and respond to me? 

Well, great question.

Not sure I have the answer you are looking for. But, I have a theory. The Credibility theory.

Starts with an equation, since I was a math minor in college….. Ultimately, credibility is this:

C = T  x  (E  + E). Credibility = Time (times) Experience + Expertise.

To give some context, here are some thoughts to best gain credibility now:

  1. Listen. Simple enough
  2. Find those who are smarter than you, and latch on. Learn from them.
  3. Become an expert before you need to be- when you are asked for your opinion or involvement, give it or do it.
  4. Self awareness and self identity- know who you are. You are young- deal with it. Don’t think you know more than you really do.
  5. Stay focused, but broad. Those who have the most credibility no longer are just experts in one area. You need to be a generalist.
  6. Learn how to follow. And follow really well. It will position you for authority later.

 

Young guys, SEEK OUT mentors and training! Don't be afraid to ask those you would like to mentor/coach you! Usually (not always, but usually) there are already people in your life who could function in that role. Who are individuals that have influenced you or that you are being influenced by now? Be specific when you ask too, How much time are you hoping the mentor can give to you? What kind of investment are you willing to put into the mentoring relationship (in terms of time and effort)?

Another thing, having a mentor/coach is not just a "young person" thing. I think it's important to always be seeking out those with more "credibility" (in terms of the equation being discussed here than you to assist in your growth as an individual. It fits in with the whole "discipleship" paradigm that Jesus modeled.

But what I’d add is one additional point that has deeply impacted my thinking and that is moral authority. I feel, personally, that the men and women that I deem to have amazing credibility and influence in my life also strive to be completely above reproach in all that they do.

Moral authority takes time, and no matter what I do in terms of web development, etc. I can lose my credibility in an instant if my moral compass takes a turn south.

Let’s spend as much time building our character and moral authority/credibility as we are coding stuff for our ministries.

Anything you’d add?

 

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Posted 3 months ago

Picking a studio, engineer or producer - discount the silly list of names.

How many of you have read a resume or bio from someone in the music industry such as a studio, an engineer or a producer and run into a strange list of names. You know, “I work with This Person who worked with That Person.” While this impresses a few fans and friends, it actually makes you look worse to the industry. The name dropping doesn’t fool anyone….anyone = the people who matter. Yeah, I’m talking to you, studios and producers. Instead of just appearing strong, why not funnel that energy into actually being strong?

There is referencing that is beneficial and then there is just outright bragging. Like I said, come off strong, but let’s clearly define that. Ego, bragging and arrogance are overdone. In a way, by going over the top, instead of standing out, you are just dropping yourself in to the bag with a truck load of other mediocre studios, engineers and producers. Instead, showcase what you have really done and how you really do things.

Too many musicians are presented such a line of crap when it comes to booking a studio or hiring a producer or an engineer. They spend the time, the money and the effort and then find out they were not able to get what they wanted or what they thought they would get for their recording.

It is the responsibility of the studio, producer and engineer to showcase what they have done. It is the responsibility of the artist to find out exactly what has been done at the studio and the reliability of the resume that the producers and engineers offer. Market yourself and/or your studio to its strengths. Be up front about what you are bringing to the table so when someone checks up on you, you still look honorable.

How does it really work in your favor to lie or exaggerate?

Studios talk about how so and so recorded there twenty years ago. Should that really be something that compels someone to want to use that studio? Was it the same engineer, the same producer, the same budget or the same session players? A lot more should go into the decision for someone who is choosing a studio. It comes down to what is happening now. People brag about recording in the same studio as this musician or that musician, but this really doesn’t help the musician.

It is basically the equivalent of someone saying, hey, I pitched two innings of baseball at Fenway Park in Boston for a little league championship. Now, while it is cool to be in the same room, that is nowhere near the caliber of the Red Sox pitchers that play professional baseball. It is like giddy-happy joy that “I recorded where Personal Musical Hero of Mine recorded!” Which is great, but doesn’t really do much for someone who isn’t them.

Instead

Listen to the most recent stuff from that studio. Find out who is engineering there now and their abilities. Find out what the budget was for the recordings and demos you hear.

I have done a great deal of over-produced and excessively budgeted albums that I do not use as samples these days. I play people the samples from the studio I use now, the team I work with now and under the budgets that I work with now. Hearing a two-hundred thousand dollar recording when you’re after a budget that is ten percent of that or less is the equivalent of a car salesman saying, “Hey, I know your price range is a Hyundai but let’s test drive the BMW to give you a sense of it.”

That makes no sense does it? Would you test drive the BMW? Hell, no. You’d find a salesman who actually listened to what you wanted and could afford.

When a studio says that this band or that band recorded there, make sure you know the details. Just because someone has recorded in a room or a studio or worked with a producer or engineer does not mean they that particular artist liked it. I have been credited with working in studios that I went in to as a favor for someone else or was paid to do a session in that I would personally never choose to return to. I know there are people I have worked with where I didn’t click with them and they didn’t click with me, so in turn, I don’t reference them as I am sure they don’t reference me.

The point is make calls, send emails, ask questions and make sure you know what you are getting into before you invest into it. Make sure you can find out all the information you can to secure the right choice.

Conclusion: Replace the soft BS with the hard facts.

Find out the facts about the rooms, the engineers, the producers. Find out what has been recorded there and find out the details, like what kind of budget was involved, how many days, what other aspects played a part of the recording. In the end, your recording is a key part of presenting your sound, your songs and music. Make sure you are doing it right, and with the right people and in the right places.

© Loren Weisman 2009

www.braingrenademusic.com

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Posted 3 months ago

WP.me — shorten your links

shortlink

Check out this address:

http://wp.me/sf2B5-shorten

If you visit it, you’ll end up right back here. The nice thing about it is that it’s a short link, about  70% smaller than the permalink for this post. URL shorteners are nothing new, Tiny URL has been around for 100 years, but WP.me is different in a few ways.

  • WP.me is the only two-letter .me domain in the world.
  • Every blog and post on WordPress.com has a WP.me URL now.
  • These are all exposed in the <head> using rel=shortlink.
  • It doesn’t work for any URL in the world, just WP.com-hosted ones.
  • The links are permanent, they will work as long as WordPress.com is around.
  • WP.me is spam-free, because we are constantly monitoring and removing spam from WP.com.

I think a few of these points are worth following up on. While URL shorteners have had some incredible usage tied to the growth (and constraints) of Twitter, I question their sustainability as a business. This point was underscored a few days ago when a popular one, tr.im, announced they were going to shut down at the end of the year.

Their story had a happy ending in that someone came in and saved them, but it was hard not to think of what would have happened if all their links stopped redirecting one day: part of the web would go dark. I also worry that because shorteners are essentially open proxies of HTTP they’ll be exploited by spammers and malware distributors to the point where businesses, anti-phishing, and anti-virus services will be forced to block them.

WordPress links have the structure they do, which is longer, because they’re meant to be permanent and portable. (And of course friendly to search engines.) Even if you weren’t using WordPress, the links contain no arbitrary IDs or other platform-specific implementation cruft so they should be trivial to serve from any system, even if you don’t use WordPress in the future. But if all the links to you use a shorter version, that sort of defeats the point!

But as Dave Winer articulated, there’s no reason we shouldn’t have a shortener ourselves, and here we are. :) People are already using it.

How can you use it?

There is now a “Get Shortlink” button next to your permalink when you edit or write a post, and when you click it you’ll get a popup with the beautiful link already highlighted for your copy and pasting pleasure.

If you’re logged in you can also get the shortlink for any page on WordPress.com, there’s a link under the “Blog Info” menu in your admin bar.

Our thanks also go out to our friends at GoDaddy and in Montenegro for help with the domain.

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Posted 3 months ago

St. Patrick's Breastplate

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of the Invocation of the Trinity:
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the Incarnation of Christ with His Baptism,
The virtue of His crucifixion with His burial,
The virtue of His Resurrection with His Ascension,
The virtue of His coming on the Judgement Day.

I bind to myself today
The virtue of the love of seraphim,
In the obedience of angels,
In the hope of resurrection unto reward,
In prayers of Patriarchs,
In predictions of Prophets,
In preaching of Apostles,
In faith of Confessors,
In purity of holy Virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.
I bind to myself today
The power of Heaven,
The light of the sun,
The brightness of the moon,
The splendour of fire,
The flashing of lightning,
The swiftness of wind,
The depth of sea,
The stability of earth,
The compactness of rocks.

I bind to myself today
God's Power to guide me,
God's Might to uphold me,
God's Wisdom to teach me,
God's Eye to watch over me,
God's Ear to hear me,
God's Word to give me speech,
God's Hand to guide me,
God's Way to lie before me,
God's Shield to shelter me,
God's Host to secure me,
Against the snares of demons,
Against the seductions of vices,
Against the lusts of nature,
Against everyone who meditates injury to me,
Whether far or near,
Whether few or with many.

I invoke today all these virtues
Against every hostile merciless power
Which may assail my body and my soul,
Against the incantations of false prophets,
Against the black laws of heathenism,
Against the false laws of heresy,
Against the deceits of idolatry,
Against the spells of women, and smiths, and druids,
Against every knowledge that binds the soul of man.

Christ, protect me today
Against every poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against death-wound,
That I may receive abundant reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ within me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ at my right, Christ at my left,
Christ in the fort,
Christ in the chariot seat,
Christ in the poop [deck],
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks to me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I bind to myself today
The strong virtue of an invocation of the Trinity,
I believe the Trinity in the Unity
The Creator of the Universe.

Quoted in the Catholic Encyclopedia

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Posted 8 months ago

What to Pray for a New President

What to Pray for a New President
Seeking God's blessing for a pluralistic, conflicted, and divided nation.
by Mark Labberton

There is no better time to renew our commitment to pray for our leaders than the start of a new presidential administration. Barack Obama needs our prayers and we should give them freely and eagerly no matter how we may have voted.

I know our president needs prayer, because I know I do. My own life and pastoral leadership depends on prayer. I am aware that much of the blessing in the life of our church unfolds because of the prayers of people united in seeking God's way. Blessings are not earned by prayer, nor should blessings be presumed because of prayer. But I do believe prayer increases our readiness to live humbly, wisely, and courageously.

These are also the qualities our new president needs. After a divisive campaign, an extraordinary economic collapse, a period of ecological vulnerability, and a time of war and global instability, our president and our nation need humility, wisdom, and courage. Wherever we or our congregations may be politically, these three qualities should guide our prayers for the leaders responsible for our nation and our world. Leadership that is lacking in any of these three will be far less constructive than these trying times demand.

Our president needs the humility to live and lead in dependence upon God, practicing a clear estimate of our human and national limitations. Few qualities are more characteristic of Jesus than his willingness to serve in dependency on the Father, "emptying himself and taking the form of a servant." Humble servant leadership is the essence of Jesus' power. Let's pray that as a new season of presidential leadership begins, Barack Obama will live before God with a clarified awareness of who he is and who he is not.

When we lead our people to pray for our national leaders, we are praying for them to be wise. That means that they will be men and women led by the truth, who will act with discernment and justice. We may be tempted to pray that certain policies or political ideologies are enacted by the government, or for the authorities to establish our own utopian vision. This kind of prayer mistakenly treats the United States as a theocracy.
Instead, we should be praying for leaders to have the wisdom to seek the shalom of the city, country, and world. This kind of prayer asks God to grant leaders the power and authority that allows people and communities to thrive. It is a prayer that neither over-reaches nor under-reaches.
When we lead our people to pray for this new administration, we also need to pray that President Obama, and everyone in government, will have courage. Given the social, economic, environmental, and security threats today, we could accumulate a pile of fear-inducing situations to rival Everest. This is an exceptional time, when our leadership needs the strength of character and will to seek, say, and do what is right.

When we pray for a pluralistic, conflicted, and divided nation like our own, we should recognize that we are not just praying for the church, for the community of God's people. Instead, we are stepping into our role as faithful exiles, surrounded by a widely varied people, who seek God's life-giving love, mercy, and justice, especially for the marginalized and for our enemies. We cry out to God for his shalom to be poured out upon others. That will be the evidence to the world that the blessing we seek isn't just for ourselves, but that we truly care for all peoples, tribes, and nations. When we pray for these things—humility, wisdom, and courage—we are stepping beyond our own party affiliation or preference, beyond the bickering of the campaign, beyond the places where divisions are real and substantial. We are seeking instead to be prayerful partners of God's shalom that comes, at least in part, through governments, civic leaders, and even presidents.

Mark Labberton is pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Berkeley, California.

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Posted 10 months ago

Keeping Christmas

Keeping Christmas  (HT Gunnar Simonsen)
Henry Van Dyke
________________________________________

There is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing...

• to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you;

• to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world;

• to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground;

• to see that men and women are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy;

• to own up to the fact that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life;

• to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness.

Are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing...

• to stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children;

• to remember the weakness and loneliness of people growing old;

• to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough;

• to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear in their hearts;

• to try to understand what those who live in the same home with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you;

• to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you;

• to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open—

Are you willing to do these things, even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing...

• to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world—

• stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death—

• and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love?

Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you can keep it for a day, why not always?

But you can never keep it alone.

- Henry Van Dyke

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Posted 11 months ago